GRAG! RAST!

PHOTO DUMP.

2006-12-16T01:24:00.000-05:00

this is rosey. a cinnamon rosey bourke. the people who owned her before justin had her malnourished to the point of almost dying, and their kids threw her against a wall and ripped off her scalp which still hasn't grown back yet.

this is my baby parakeet who was bought for rosey for a few weeks to get her accsustomed to other birds. she's now separated from rosey and both of them are independant and happy birdies. her name's versace. yes. versace. justin is well, he's gay. soooo that explains it :P

this is sophie, we think she's one of the following: shephard, husky, chow, akita. we know she has rottweiler in her. and most likely some shephard. bt theres one opf those other three breeds that she probably is. its weird. but she's cute as shit :D

EVERYONE'S FAVORUITE NAKEND PARROTLET...YUNA!

TOTORO! i did this :D borrowed the poses and adapted somethings like he has no umbrella and no little buddy, instead he's hugging the girl. :)

this graphic is goign o nthe front of my christmas cards and ecards that i'm going to send out shortly

i made these sets of earrings for presents for my cousin

and last but not least this is my chubby self with Cris of lacuna coil

BOOBS.

2006-11-27T23:38:00.000-05:00

.......and that would be the end of this post.

I hope I got all these codenames right! Those taht I didn't know got first initials.

2006-11-25T23:39:00.000-05:00

I ♥ the music from Tick, Tick...Boom!
I can't find it anywhere on the internets :( If anyone has it would you upload it for me!? :D i'd love you FOREVER.

i'm in a geeky broadway loving mood.

i wanna be a struggling starving artist, which is a stupid ambition, but it's something i've always wanted. i think it creates GREAT inspiration. perhaps i'm a dope. :D

In other news...I worked tonite for the jazz show. BORING. But my evening started out really...bizarrely.

While "C" is sharing her new puppy woes of stepping in a pile of poop and a puddle of pee-pee [[to which i responded and encouraged her to crate the puppy while she was sleeping til she was trained but i dont' think she will but ANYWAY]], my phone line rings. I answer it, and it's some 20 something on the phone who wants gin blossoms tickets. Only thing we have left is in the 24th row, so I add those to the order and get his information. His name was Guy Boccardi, pronounced bacardi. I made a friendly thanks towards him for spelling it, saying oh i'm sorry! I spelled it like the drink, and he laughs saying it's okay everyone does.

So as I'm about to ask for his credit information he asks if there's ANYTHING closer than 24th row right. So I say you can take those, or tickets behind the sound board/tech pit. I advised to him not to take those seats if he was over 5'10" but not if he or anyone was shorter than about 5'4"/5'5" I explained to him that I'm only 5'3" and I can't see. The guy goes huh, 5'3" you say? That's kinda cute. So I kind of just stand there and my eyes get REALLY HUGE and I'm all uhhhhhhh....well I wouldn't recommend sitting there if you're tall, it's not a BAD seat but they are still regular seat and the seats in teh 24th row will just be MUCH more comfortable for you.

He apparently is ignoring me and asks me my name. I say my name's Zombie Girl and move on, "So did you decide which seats you would like?" Once again I'm ignored and he asks "What's your middle name Zombie Girl?" I get VERY confused at this point because that was NOT what i was expecting to hear, so I say "WHAT?! NO...no um, no I'm not telling you that." Strangely sexual customer on the phone replies "aw c'mon I just wanna hear what it sounds like with my last name" I nervously laugh as he asks how old I am, and once again I answer because I'm just so confused "I'm twenty one, and how would you like to pay for these seats." YET AGAIN, I'm ignored, "Oh! Perfect, because I'm 20. You drink, I'll drive. It'll be awesome!"

At this point I'm just horribly uncomfortable, but I can't hang up on him, I'd get in more trouble if I just hung up on him. So he's carrying on and I'm changing the subject and he asks if I'm working the show. I've managed to calm myself down a tad by this point and I say "No, but my friend is. May I have your credit card information please." He continues and in between hitting on me tells me it's a Visa. I run him over before he can say anything else and I finis the order as fast as I can. I inform him the usual "order number, leave time for parking, pick up tickets in the box office." As if he's trying to impress me, I'm informed that his father is a dentist and he can just use his office to park. I say good for you thats' the way to go, leave yourself time! Enjoy your show have a great day.

I quickly hang up and package the tickets and chuck them in the correct will call box. Eyes wide as saucers, with a face that feels like i've sat in the sun for too long, I shudder and say, "Oh. My. God. Some guy just tried to pick me up. Yeeecchhh." "C" says something to the effect of "I hate people like that." Instead of consoling me, the European decided to reprimand me with "Well you need to learn that you need to be more professional." As if I was asking for it or something! I blink, confused, and reassure her all I did was tell him that I cannot see very well behind the soundboard because I'm short. I say to her that I only told him my name because customers often ask our names before hanging up. She goes "Well, be more professional". I don't understand it! When did I earn this reputation of box office whore!?

This is the third time in less than two weeks that I've been reprimanded to be more professional, stop flirting, and to stop talking to the guys in the office. What makes them think that I'm flirting? I've told them time and time again that D, C, J, The Gopher, and the Tool all know that I have a boyfriend. There hasn't been one time that I've ever FLIRTED with them. I'm friendly, not flirty, and if they cannot discern between the two they're retarded, but I know they know. I just wish I could get both of my bosses to understand that. D and I talk a lot, and he knows how serious Michael and I are. He also told me "You're in a relationship, I'd never hit on you. I respect you, I respect your relationship." And that's about the time when I realised that I could really count on him as a friend. J, the Gopher, and the Tool (though he's slightly creepy) are just friendly, funny, and sociable. So I don't mind talking to them (even the Tool , since he seems to have toned down most of the creepy), because I like to smile and laugh. I wish I could make my so-called evil overlords understand this.

It hurts my feelings that people have constantly referred to things like this as "my fault" because I've "encouraged this behaviour" by being "flirtatious." Since when is being friendly, making conversation, and waving to people when they walk by overly flirtatious? It's only flirtatious if you're being obviously theatrical about it. I'm not. Not at all! And I just wish it weren't my bosses who were making me feel so uncomfortable about the situation. It's just happened one too many times for me to be able to shrug it off. *SIGH*

And I'm stuck and I don't know what to do :(

an observation of much note

2006-11-18T11:53:00.000-05:00

"tag team back again check into rec and lets begin party on party people lemme hear some noise dc's in the house jump jump rejoice a party over here a party over there wave your hands in the air shake the derrier these three words when you get in bed say whoomp there it is"

yes well "whoomp, there it is" happens to be FOUR words. but apparently the entire world is just a bunch of unusually bad counters. perhaps they are not counting whoomp as a word, but I myself do. which means it's "these four words when you get in bed say"

yes. i wrote those all from memory btw. the words. it's sad. i know.

2006-11-11T01:21:00.000-05:00

because michael is the best and foudn this online for me...i now share with you............ THIS AWESOME LINK!

the album's out december 5th xDDDDDDDDDDDD

THINGS THAT PISS ME OFF....

2006-11-10T19:15:00.000-05:00

Things I hate about the mall at holiday time:

1.) CHRISTMAS MUSIC BEFORE DECEMBER FIRST.
This bothers me greatly. First of all, it's called christmas music because it is supposed to be celebratory of holiday cheer. If it makes you want to kill someone, kill yuorself, or kill a small, fluffy, defenseless creature (children included)? It's not being used correctly!! You wouldn't sing happy birthday to someone 6 months before their birthday (unless you're one of my retarded friends that is), so why the HELL are you playing christmas music two hours before the holy birthday of some great religious figure? And why aren't there hannukah/kwanzaa tunes. You're so worried about calling it "holiday sales" so you're politically correct, btu there's christmas trees, santa clauses, stockings, and candy canes all over the fuckin place. You're politically correct all the way, or you're not at all.

2.) THE AMOUNT OF ASSHOLES THAT CUT IN FRONT OF ME TO GET TO THE LIGHT IN THE PARKING LOT EXIT BEFORE IT TURNS RED.

It's still going to be there. You are not any more important than the car in front of you. Neither is your need more dire than the person in front of you. If the toy store or clothing store is having a sale? It will still be having a sale 5 minutes from now. If things are going to be sold out? They'll probably sell out before you get there and you'll STILL have to wait in line to find out.

3.) MOM'S WHO WILL STAND IN LINE FOR HOURS FOR A THREE THOUSAND DOLLAR ITEM THAT THEIR FIVE YEAR OLD CHILD WILL STEP ON AND BREAK WITHIN FIVE MINUTES.
If your child can't buy the toy by saving up their allowance for a month? It's obviously a toy inappropriate for their age. Thye don't belong in front of a television, they should be romping about with children their own age. They should be getting dirty, falling out of trees, cracking baseballs accidentally through a neighjbour's window, chucking snowballs at each other from snowforts, etc. I don't giev a damn how "educational" it's marketed to be. You pump them full of mcdonald's, stick them in front of these devices, and then sue mcdonalds for them getting fat? No no no! You did it, not mcdonalds, not sony's electronics division. You gave them shitty presents taht make their brain mushy. And paid $3k for them to turn into fat tubs of lard with an IQ of 4.

4.) THE AMOUNT OF PUPPIES AND KITTIES THAT ARE SOLD IN THE MALL PETSTORE
It's just really depressing,because you know damn well they're just going to get dropped off at the shelter in 6 months when they're too big of a responsibility, or completely abused/ignored by irresponsible crapcakes who just want them as an accessory.

5.)VEHICLES THAT STALK ME FOR MORE THAN 30 CARLENGTHS TO FIND MY SPOT BEFORE THE OTHER BITCH ACROSS FROM THEM DOES.
This makes me want to weave in and out of the masses of cars. I may either pretend to put my key into a car and hten look confused when i "realise" it's "not my car" then walk to the next car that looks like it. repeat. Next comes the ever popular cut across three lanes worth of parked cars. After which i might ALSO incorporate the aforementioned "my car" routine. Or the put things in my car then wave to them and as they approach and roll down the window. i say "are you waiting for a spot?" they say "yes" i say "oh i'm sorry i'm just dropping off some stuff." then iget into my car and pull out after they've passed me, letting the car behind them get the spot.

........hiiiiiiii

2006-11-04T01:15:00.000-05:00

Today was really wicked.

I got out of bed because I had to throw up. I'm really sick. I mean REALLY sick.

I feel good because today I getting my lip pierced! Finally! Mom said I could and she's signed the forms and EVERYTHING!

I'm so sad. My kitten got run over this afternoon. I found him when I was coming home from school. His head was all squished. I took some photos. I'll miss him. Poor kitty.

Last night I had to shave my entire body. Apparently, the lice that I caught from Amanda's friend are really hard to get rid of. I look quite strange with no hair and eyebrows. I'd post pictures, but my webcam is broken.

I want to tell the world to get fucked.

Today, I got a digital camera! Yes! But I don't know how to work it. Can you help me?

I want to say thanks to the academy for giving me this award.

I went to the doctor yesterday, and he said I have bipolar disorder, which makes me different enough to be interesting, but the same as all the other cool people with bipolar disorder.

You should all do this quiz! It's amazingly accurate. You just put in your name and birthday, and it will tell you what your favourite sexual position is.

Maybe tomorrow I will get a grilled cheese for lunch.

That's enough for now. But I'll leave you with some naked photos of myself. (Not safe for work - teehee).

Created with the Gregor's Semi-Automatic LiveJournal Updater™. Update your journal today!

haha

2006-10-30T02:00:00.000-05:00

i love journal icons they make me laugh.

yeahno.

2006-10-12T12:45:00.000-04:00

So in continuing the traditions of the daily Tool rant. Which of COURSE just completely refers to the semiprogmetalexperimentalrockgroup....mmmyes.

Apparently? World the world revolves around the tool.
Yes. You heard right.
So he stands there, as a nice individual requests that a filing cabinet be put into their 4'x4' office space in what I hear is a former murder victims home. ROFL. because there are mysterious stains on the carpet that some say...::creepy voiceover man voice:: could be the blood of a lost innocent soul. But in any case he states it will be put into AND I QUOTE "his world". Nice individual stares at him, "Your...world? Did I hear you correctly?" He responds to this matter-of-factly with a "ME. ::points to self:: World. ::hand motions around him in a circular fashion." Then smugly smiles and walks away. OMGWTFNONOTACCEPTABLE.

2006-10-07T00:03:00.000-04:00

I found a baby bat today I thought he was dead and I named him Lawrence but it turns out in fact that after poking my foot at his bottom he is in fact...alive So I was all OH MAN I AWNT A PET BAT cause...I do...I used to carry around these bats when iw asl ittle and they were batty, batty II, and radar don't even ask but anway so i'm all MOM I FOUND A BAT AND I DON'T KNWO HOW TO PICK IT UP AND -- before I can get another word out she's sceraming at me "IF YOU BRING THAT FUCKING BAT HOME I WILL FUCKIGN KILL YOU YOU'RE GONNA GET RABIES AND I AM NOT BNRINGING YOU TO THE HOSPITAL NO MORE ANIMALS!" just like that all in one breath and i'm like err no i was just gonna like say i wanna fix him and make him feel better so i caleld the cops and tehy're all WTF A BAT? i'm all yeah wtf a bat and they're all okay fine so someone came by and the bat was being all cool and moving and trying to climb up a wall. and i dunno how he did that because like he totally just had nothing to grip on and yet there the little bat meister was trying to find his way out of the reach of the cop who was trying to find hin and i was all OMG SO CUTE I WANT HIM And the cop was all aw well he'll be just fine and i'll just take him and take care of him and i'm all yeah my mom said i couldn't have him and i'm all i know you can't kill them because it's illegal and things and he's all yeah i'll take him home to my kids as a pet since you can't keep hmo and i'm all hahaha and he's all hahahha just kiddniga nd then lawrence was all in the box in a car.

and that was a long sentence buti almost had a pet bat i was excited. :x

I don't wanna work I just wanna bang. not on the drum. just bang all day. that's right. i'm vulgar.

2006-10-06T23:58:00.000-04:00

Also I will invent a way to not work. Because work sucks.

PHYSICS MIGHT NOT SUCK SO BAD....

2006-10-06T23:54:00.000-04:00

I decided I should use Michael's newfound love of physics to invent something to help me drive on the roads. A button that removes all slow dumbfuck drivers in front of me by catapulting them to the left and right of me and sending them to some alternate dimension. I want to send them to a dimension where slow dumbfuck people just get stuck in traffic jams unnecessarily all day long, so they know how it feels. COME THE FUCK ON. If there's anything I can't stand in this world it's slow pokey pete drivers. And what is WITH OLD PEOPLE and not being able to drive over 15mph. I mean jesus christ!

I will invent and patent this alnog with the donut bear trap.

2006-10-06T10:38:00.000-04:00

I think the theatre offices should be the sole inspiration for "The Office"
because we've clearly got enough material to start a comedy show.
or a horror show. i haven't yet decided.

2006-10-05T17:54:00.000-04:00

HAR HAR!
today i CROSSED THE THRESHOLD...i stepped into the toolshed.
that's right. the toolshed.
and as quickly as i entered i bolted out.

friggin....what good is having a tool in the office if they're broken and out of order. because if there's a few screws loose in the tool itself? how is it supposed to fix anything AROUND it. i mean c'mon. you're how old, worked how many jobs, and been here how long? YET YOU DON'T KNOW HOW TO SEND SOMEONE VOICEMAIL!? wtf man. efkansd;lkhadhas!!!!!!!

how can one fold a piece of paper into a bird shape when they can't even figure out how to walk straight? apparently everyone's favourite dunderhead can also fold origami cranes. which apparently they'd help with if they weren't running aroudn telling people there would be numbers on things that will be in boxes and bla bla bal bla bla bla and this chair will be here but the water cooler will be three feet to the left and BLAAAAAAAAH BLAAAAAAH BLAAAAAAAAAH. i don't think it's necessary to "tour" the office several dozen times with different people telling them all the same thing. obviously just a brief description would have done it. at least change your words up for your fellow employees. cut us a break wed on't want to hear the same thing over and over. then again i should cut him some slack because it might just be all his brain can handle.

ooooooh a man with a pretty accent of unknown origins. ooooooh lookout and duck because the tool might come out and try to hump your leg in desperation. i think they're still wandering around here. because i didn't get the creepy 8D GOODBYE BOX OFFICE GIGGLE GIGGLE GIGGLE! that i usually do......

i've decided something. it woudl be very entertaining to electric shock anyone who tries to take a donut, cookie, or candy off the front table. it'd be way funnier to do it via hidden camera from a cubicle. but i'll be satisfied with it happening right in front of me. i think i might just stick some kind of prank candies in the candy dish and warn only the people i really like. and just spend the rest of my day watching people steal the candies and disturbing the daunting task i have of folding paper cranes. i mean seriously. every five seconds someone would come over and go "OHHHH DONUTS I LOVE DONUTS" yes well apparently so does everyone int he office. also, they are NOT my donuts and even if they were i wouldn't put them out on the table if i wasn't sharing. so doing the o_O O_O O_o o_o THING isn't going to make a difference. yo're still in front of me and i can STILL see you.

no. you know what? A BEAR TRAP. that'd be HILARIOUS. everytime you go to steal a donut....SNAP WHAM BLOOD EVERYWHERE. i think that'd teach everyone to steal like 10 donut munchkins during the day. just because we're out here doesn't mean we're not working. you disturb us just as much as if i ran in your office 2000 times to steal an eraser.

i will only allow a few people to escape my evil bear trap.

anyway i'm leaving. bye XD TIME TO GO HOME FOR THE NIGHT

(dude i'm so fired if someone ever finds these blogs and figures out who i'm talking about.
oh well. i'm sure i'll think of a nice little speecch to say by then. i love how i dare do these tings in the workplace without checking who's still in here...)

OH SWEET IRONY.

2006-10-03T13:02:00.000-04:00

omg. so we had a friggin massive power outage. i'm now back in everyone's favourite place. the admin offices. OH JOY! SWEET RAPTURE!

so i now begin broadcasting my life story via interwebicles and crappy dell notebook.

oh w00t. h0ll3r.

Evanescence: The Open Door News Blog

2006-10-01T01:02:00.000-04:00

Evanescence: The Open Door News Blog

I'm sorry but....WTF!?!

2006-09-27T23:46:00.000-04:00

http://www.ibuzz.co.uk/

yes.......uhhhh so there's news that uh hermione's actress emma watson doesn't wanna do the 6th and 7th movies............who the fuck am i kidding i'm sorry that's just PLAIN WEIRD there's no avoiding the awkwardness of that link i just posted. LOLOLOLOL

SO ANYWAY.

2006-09-26T23:02:00.000-04:00

Hesper's writing makes me smile. :)

And so does the blogspot-hack-generator I found to "11-year-old"ize my profile.
Because apparently nostaligia is for 11 year-olds.
According to dumbasses who are prematurely bald, and pre-seasonally fat. Christmas isn't until december santa, then again i wouldn't want my kid on HIS lap. ::SHUDDER::
man sometimes i can be such a jerk! :X

Prolly why I only have three or four friends. ::shrugs:: haha

my leg itches.
and im' tired and man this chair is wicked uncomfortable.
note to self: patent a TRULY comfortable computer desk chair. or...at elast buy a non-folding chair for your own desk. with comfy cushioning. damn i'm ghetto. hahaha

Office Drama and Schoolgirl Trauma

2006-09-26T15:12:00.000-04:00

number of times "the tool" has shot me creepy smiley looks so far: 2 wait wait 4 no wait wait....make that a total of 6, with a BONUS SCORE of ONE CREEPY CONVERSATION!

during which he says "what are you drawing"
and i reply "you've NEVER seen this cartoon?"
he's all "uh no, i...don't think so"
and im' all well i used to watch it when i was little
so he's all "oh, well that's a long time ago cause your'e what, 11 right?"
asdfl;nkgaf hasgj;asdbkaerhasdgh

well FUCK YOU FATASS. NO. IT WAS SAILOR MARS FROM SAILOR MOON AND I AM ONE MONTH AND A COUPLE DAYS OF BEING ABLE TO GET LEGALLY DRUNK AND KEY THE SHIT OUT OF YOUR FATASS CAR.

UGH! WTF! MEH! EWW!

and other three letter things to describe my disgust.

i have decided if for some weird reason if he gets a girlfriend (HAHAHA RIIIGHT) i'll call her The Toolbox. HA cause i'm wickedly witty like that.

Doobeedoobeedoooo!

2006-09-26T12:08:00.000-04:00

OMG i looked in my bag. poor babe the blue boy has been in my bag since last friday. HAHAHAHA woops.

::goes back to drawing on the notepad she swiped from the box office::

A strange old lady walked in, walked to the brochure rack, said "mreadfd there's nobody here" and she wandered RIGHT past me and walked to the merchandise table with the IMac of DOOM. And walked away again. WTF?!

stupid small amount of space makes the structure screwy looking.... but whatever

2006-09-26T12:03:00.000-04:00

        Give me classic film kisses
                    And stars in my hair
                              Give me three special wishes
                                         And one empty chair

        Give me one secret garden
                      And one special rose
                                 Give me one lucky pardon
                                            And well worded prose

           Give me all of these things at one time or another
                                   But it all had no meaning
                                                                                             'Til you.

Inventions That Just Should Never Have Been Concieved.

2006-09-22T12:31:00.000-04:00

http://www.mistupid.com/pictures/images/codeforfood.jpg
GEEK HUMOUR!

http://www.mistupid.com/pictures/images/bigdickinn.jpg

http://www.mistupid.com/pictures/images/ac.jpg

http://www.mistupid.com/pictures/images/showgirls.jpg

ANYWAY.

SO I HAVE BEEN INSPIRED! Someone sparked the discussion about "banana hammocks" ROFLCOPTER. So I've decided I'm compiling a list of things that should never have been invented.

1.) Banana Hammock bathing suits (speedos and the like) I'm sorry. But you wear bathing suits for a reason. TO COVER. If you are covering flesh but still exposing lumpy bits....then that is just as bad as being naked.

2.) The repeat/loop function on technology like computers/cd players. If you want to repeat something, go back and hit the track again. THINGS THAT LOOP REPEATEDLY FOR HOURS ON END ARE ANNOYING.

3.) Blackberry phones. Get a laptop. Or get a cell phone. SUCK IT UP AND CARRY BOTH. DON'T MAKE SOME MONSTER PHONE APPARATUS TO SAVE "SPACE." It's ridiculous.

4.) MySpace. DAMMIT. That is all I have to say.

5.) NASCAR. What? ME, NOT LIKE FAST CARS!? Okay I love fast cars. I like racecars. I do not however, find watching a car drive around in circles at top speeds for an hour. or more. If I wanted to do that I'd block off the entrance at the local adult community in my town, and route the detour signs so they all drove in circles. How is this whole Nascar thing entertaining? It's not. Plain and simple. DO THEY NOT KNOW THAT ALL THESE PEOPLE ARE DOING IS DRIVING FAST IN A CIRCLE!? I guess if your best friend is your mothersisteraunt, a lot is not expected of you.

6.) Those hats that they sell at sporting events where you put beer on the sides and tubes to your mouth. What, you can't hold a beer and watch a game at the same time? It's not even as if the hat is sold with a rainslicker. YOU STILL SPILL BEER WHEN YOU JUMP UP AND DOWN. Only this time it's the people to your right, left, behind, AND in front that get beer all over them. Not just the guy in front of you! OH BOY! I mean okay, you're fat and lazy. We get it. But the least you could do is burn a few calories in between buying and drinking it by LIFTING IT to your lips. Did I forget to mention too, that they're tacky? Because they're tacky.

7.) Jessica Simpson.

8.) Easy Bake Ovens. Do you know how inhumane it is, to make a 5 year old kid cook with light bulb for 6 hours? AND STILL HAVE THE BROWNIE COME UNDERCOOKED. My god, it's just not right. I know EVERYONE agrees with me on this one. SRSLY. I always wanted to cook a brownie in my brother's creepy crawler oven instead. It had a MUCH hotter temperature.

9.) Salad shooters. Man. My pop-pop used to sing the commercial all the time "lalalala salad shooterrrrr" so...my nana bought him one. Then he gave it away nd she thuoght he threw it out cause it broke. She bought him another one. Well, if you can't chop up a head of lettuce, or rip it up with your hands to make a salad? I would hope you're a living breathing torso-boy. Not only do they shred your salad into a wilty mess, but they shoot it OVER AND ABOVE AND NEXT TO the bowl. What kind of salad is that?! Not a very good one I can tell you that.

10.) THE TOOL.

Right now I'm not being very amusing and i'm so sorry :( I'll be better tonight methnks. I'm just realyl not feeling good :WAIL::

IS THAT A STAPLER IN YOUR PANTS OR ARE YOU JUST HAPPY TO SEE ME

2006-09-22T00:59:00.000-04:00

ME: man it's like so funny this guy at work who's like probably really 30 but looks liek he's 55 (reminds me of the stapler guy sorta in office space, but with the desperateness of ron burgundy)
STINA: have you seen my stapler?
ME: exactly
ME: but itl'l be like heyyyyyyyy baby
ME: have you seen my "STAPLER"
STINA: hahahah

2006-09-21T23:59:00.000-04:00

I have decided a number of things:
1.) I like numbered lists today.
2.) People who have grandkids should ASK IF WE WANT TO HEAR ABOUT THEM BEFORE THEY BLATHER ON ABOUT THEM CONSTANTLY.
3.) The caps lock button/the shift key are my friends, apparently.
4.) I don't want to hear about Peanut Master's grandkids all day.
5.) Two days a week with peanut master is two days too many.
6.) My boss is planning to cook me. Why else would she stock the box office with brownies, donuts, and pizza? Unless she was planning to eat me....like the witch in hansel in gretel.

I like my boss actually. Sara is awesome. She told me today that she'd totally take Peanut Master aside if she got really bothersome. That makes life easier. So today I showed her rather than run back and forth to someone ELSE'S phone to use THEIR extension to dial ANOTHER someone's extension while a customer is on hold? You can just put them on hold and select the empty line to call from. I was like BOOYAKASHA I TAUGHT YOU SOMETHING AND YOU CAN'T GET MAD AT ME FOR IT :P

I have also decided that this is very funny.

And that I kinda like stealing bandwidth.
It makes me feel scene.
PSYCH! Ho man...who totally loves that word? ME ME ME ME ME! I DO I DO! but i think you got that when I said me.....
And that this is also very amusing

I want a weave.
Not really.
I kinda just wanna go on Maury and pretend my baby's daddy is black.
But there's one problem.
My baby's daddy doesn't exist casue I have no baby for said daddy to...well...daddy.
That's okay.
Maybe I'll just claim that my baby's daddy stole my baby.
Then I'll be the crazy person who like...doesn't actually have a baby but i'm convinced I'm pregnant cause I walk around with a pillow in my shirt.

I think I have too much time on my hands....that and I'm semi-delirious and sleep deprived. But that's okay! XD

THIS ONE'S FOR ELYSE HAHA!

Oh. My. God. MENTALLY CHALLENGED MUCH?

2006-09-21T17:21:00.000-04:00

Not like anyone who doesn't work with me would understand this....but for the one person who DOES...I shall use the dubbed nickames she has used for our workplace employees.

A large group of bird-brained corporate robots came into my place ofbusiness, apparently participating in some form of "Amazing Race" game. Let's just start with a few simple things.

1.) I hate coporate hive mind employees.
2.) I can't stand when people make workplace versions of reality tv shows.
3.) With the exception of a select few, I HATE reality television.
4.) I hate stupid people. it's a generalisation. but i'm making it and i'm sticking to it.

So, group of dunderheads comes into lobby of theatre. They half start talking to me, and half to mysterious person standing in the hallway. They have to take a picture, posed like ninjas mind you, on our stage. I'm all we don't have a stage. To which voice behind the door replies: we don't have a stage. Hello, I believe I just said that. So they get confused and go how does a theatre not have a stage. If one more person asks a ridiculous question like that AFTER STARING AT THE BOARDS AND THE IMAC THAT HAVE CONSTRUCTION DISPLAYS ON THEM, I will, repeat will, PUNCH THEM IN THE HEAD. HARD. SQUARE DEAD ON. DOUBLE YEW TEE EFFFFFFFFF. (to be a hipster. ROFFLEWAFFLE) SO...continuing on....mysterious voice behind the door keeps yammering on. Shit-for-brains corporate man fiddles with his annoyingly tacky glow necklaces (why you mus wear glow necklaces in broad daylight is beyond me...but if they were THIS stupid maybe it was for THEIR safety...so they wouldn't get hit by cars). Mysterious voice agrees to let them take a picture by the sign or on the stairs. Group of Cyborg Employees gets excited like a retarded child at the zoo. (I know people who are retarded. I am not trying to be insulting. I am describing their facial expressions best I know how. And boy oh boy that fits.) At this point I crack open the door to hear mysterious voice a little clearer.

What's behind door number one you ask? Lo and behold....everyone's favourite CT employee...drumroll please...THE TOOL. OH GOD. BAD IDEA. So they take their ridiculous "ninja picture" (which let me tell you obviously none of them know what a ninja looks like because....well....the woman looked constipated and i was too frighetened by her appearane to even LOOK around the corner at the guy.) and leave, thank god! Then the Tool comes over and begins to yammer. I mistakenly say "Yeah...it's been so slow, but iIve still been working hard! It takes a lot of work to sit on MySpace all day." Bad. Choice. Of. Words. His face lights up and he once again blabs a jumble of verbs and nouns. We talk about living in New Jersey. He pretends that he was away from New Jersey for 10 years. In jail. I kind of just nod and go..oookayyy.....not funny. Because....It's NOT. So he's all guffawing about how clever he is. Then I'm like oh I'll wind up never leaving jersey bla bla bla bla bla bla. Somehow we also mistakenly get on the topic of my age.

I say "Oh, I'm twenty." Welllll...that just gets him excited. He goes "My god you're jsut a baby!" ANd what's his next sentence..."I mean...you can't even DRINK yet." Then he dribbles on about whatever it was he felt important to talk about. Then he's all myspace is like crack. To which i'm all "ooh giggle giggle i totally knowsxc0r3!!" Ew. Ew. And ew some more. So then I'm all I'm not the youngest person here you know, Carolina is. And he's all "Carolina? I dion't know her do I?" and I'm like "she's 19, and no probably not since lately she's working weekends." Woops hahaha! Now he's just gonna get all creepified on her too! :x So he apparently knows that we're all young, and I'm all well Hesper's young too. And he's like yeah.....I know. To which I'm all EWWWW SKEEEEEVE! X_X Srsly flks. He's a total CREEPSTER. First he's all thinknig someone is engaged when they're really talking about tuna. Next he's all you can't drink you're a little kid while staring at me strangely. Thats' right. Back off. Half your friggin age bucko. YEEEECH ::shudders:: My god and he made those creepy old man stalker molester eyes. o_O I'm so not liking him, kthx.

Moral of this story?
Idiots should be shot on contact. At short range. With a weapon made for long range targets. Or terminated.

this is like...my 6th blog. HAHA yes.....

2006-09-21T16:36:00.000-04:00

HELLO.
THIS IS A BLOG.
ITS ZOMBIELICIOUS.
I AM NOT A PERSON.
I AM SIMPLY ZOMBIE LEFTOVERS.
PERHAPS I AM AN ARM.
PERHAPS I AM A TORSO.
PERHAPS I AM JUST VERY TASTY.
GOODNIGHT.